It’s most likely because I’m not yet in the yacht-faring, luxury-marina-apartment-living phase of my life, but I had no idea that there’s an amazing network of canals running around the backwaters of the V&A Waterfront.

Hidden just behind the Two Oceans Aquarium and the One&Only at the Waterfront is a whole new world that until now, unless you’re sporting a 6 figure salary or a sugar daddy, wasn’t all that easily explored. But City Sightseeing’s new Waterfront to Convention Centre canal cruise puts pay to all of this, and for the price of a cup of coffee at the aforementioned luxury hotel, you’ll be floated away into the lifestyles of the rich and famous for over 30 minutes, as you wind your way along the calm waters sporting any number of luxurious yachts and watercraft.

The experience on the whole is somewhat surreal, taking on the feel of a sedate theme park or museum ride rather than a canal cruise through a real marine estate. With everyone plugged into the fascinating audio tour, we floated silently through the shallow waters, and I looked carefully at the peaceful residents breakfasting on their balconies and sunning themselves at their private pools, in the hope that one of them was Oprah or Ronaldo, or any one of the other famous residents rumoured to reside in the area. Although everyone we sailed past was as glamourous and beautiful as you’d expect from this part of the world, sadly none of them were particularly famous.

The entire trip was as seamless and well-organised as you’d imagine with any City Sightseeing operation, and the friendly staff went out of their way to make sure everyone was comfortable and happy. But the reality is that the audio tour is so engaging that once you’re hooked up, it’s pretty easy to get swept up into the surreal world surrounding you and forget about everything else.

As we reached the turning point at the CTICC, iconic landmarks like Table Mountain and Signal Hill started popping up between foreshore buildings and the more industrial buildings of the working harbour, and the unique water-level angle made the sights that much more intriguing. Low-lying bridges abound, and surrounding and underneath most are a selection of birdlife either sunning themselves or escaping the afternoon heat.

Once we reached the CTICC, where you can hop off if you’re continuing with one of the two City Sightseeing bus routes, we gave the audio guide a quick switch and tuned into the kids channel. It’s as over-dramatic and ridiculous as you can imagine, and thus totally engaging and entertaining, and there’s no doubt that it’ll keep kids talking for hours after. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, I had a good chuckle at the array of ocean-related jokes. One of the various characters assured us that a sea monster’s favourite meal is fish and ships, which will be a go-to party joke of mine for some time to come. If you’re taking a round trip, swallow your pride and give the children’s channel a quick listen – you won’t be sorry.

Eventually the quiet boat cruised back towards the One&Only, branching right this time around the luxury hotel chain’s private island, and as we docked we all found ourselves scheming up ways of making the switch to the other side of the boat, so to speak – to be watching the red boats cruise past from our own serene luxury Waterfront balconies. Until then, though, I’ll most definitely be splashing out another R20 bucks for a cruise next time I’m at the Waterfront, if only to embrace the inner voyeur in me, and, just maybe, win the heart of a wealthy sugar mommy who’ll expedite the wealth-generation process.

Buy your tickets here:

• Online at www.citysightseeing.co.za
Adults R110 (offline price R140), Kids (5-15 years) R70, Kids under 5 free.

• On the bus

• At out Ticket Office, outside the Two Oceans Aquarium: Bus Stop 1

Andrew is part-time travel journalist, full-time managing editor of My Destination Cape Town (www.mydestination.com/capetown), part of the London-based My Destination travel guide network. With guides to over 110 top tourist destinations around the world, My Destination offers comprehensive and beautifully designed travel guides to help make the most of your stay, whether you’re looking for accommodation, restaurants, wine estates, or things to see and do.